My Review of the first hour and five minutes of Avatar

If you’re asking yourself “Who was that jerky guy in the second-to-front row at the 6:30pm showing of Avatar on Friday night who got up and left the theater and hour into the movie?” That guy was me.

Firstly, I’m quite sure I am the last person who reads this blog who hadn’t seen Avatar. OK, so I’m a bad, bad, sci-fi director.

Secondly, there aren’t any spoilers here since I didn’t even make it to midway through act 2. We were in the middle of the fun and games section and just learned how to ride a dragon. You’ve seen the movie. You know what I’m talking about.
Now the reason it took me so dang long to see the movie is because the perfect is the enemy of the good. I wanted to see Avatar in the only “real” IMAX theater in New York City. That’s the one up by Lincoln Center.
And that’s where I almost threw up.
I suffer from motion sickness. By the time we were getting close to flying the damn dragon I was saying (I don’t think I was saying out loud) “Jim, Jim, please don’t move the camera any more. Let’s just stay with a shot and linger on it a while. Please don’t spin along the X axis, just sit there, on virtual sticks. Please.”
But alas, Jim Cameron did not heed my desperate plea. Virtually ever shot was moving. All all axis simultaneously. It’s like the camera was being directed by a bumblebee.
When we got to the part where the lead character was recording his video log on what was essentially the webcam of the future, I think I dedicated my life to one of the minor Pandora deities. Why o why couldn’t the whole movie be like this? Still. Not stomach curdling.
Nope, we had to go flying on the damn dragon. The dragon spun, the camera spun, my head spun. “I’ll watch the movie on DVD.” I thought. As I left. Pale and shaky. Near death, I think.
Now, you desperately want to know what I thought of the movie. So I’ll tell you.
  • Go ahead and let the hero have an Australian accent. It’s gonna creep in anyway. Maybe it should be moderated a little, but let him just do it.
  • Evil guy = awesome.
  • Story is in good shape. Everybody complains about the dialog and such. Yeah. It doesn’t really bother me. I’m more of a story guy anyway. Story works. At least up through the middle of the 2nd act. I’m sure later our hero finds out something about himself and about the Na’vi and then has to make a decision which will affect his life, and the lives of all those around him forever. There will be a great struggle but at the last minute, using the knowledge he learned about himself through his contact with the B story the girl, he prevails. But I never saw that part so you didn’t hear it from me.
But that’s not what’s important. What’s important is how was the CG? How is 3D?
  • This picture isn’t a big advance in CG. I think Chance Shirley pointed that out. It doesn’t look as photo-real as The Golden Compass. Heck, it doesn’t look as photo-real as parts of Wall-e.
  • I hate 3D. 3D isn’t even 3D. It’s 2 and-a-half D. To my eye the stuff that’s “closer” to you is flat, on a plane. It’s like the AfterEffects “postcards in space” effect where you can move objects closer or further from the camera but they have no depth to them.
  • Maybe part of the problem is the depth of field. I expect stuff in 3 dimensions to let me focus on whatever I want to (and this might have contributed to my motion sickness). But the background in Avatar is just as out of focus as you’d expect with 35mm film. So for me it means that I “hunt” a bit more for the in-focus part. If the movie were 2D the in-focus part of the frame would be easier to find and I wouldn’t find myself searching the screen for whatever Mr. Cameron wants me to be looking at.
So I’ll rent it on DVD. I’m kind of curious to see how the mechs, the dragon things (now I suspect there are even bigger dragons in the movie) and the helicopters have their big battle and how we learn what the Na’vi are doing with the Unobtanium.
Here’s a picture of my sister’s dog, Chien. Dog is sleeping. Dog is named “Dog.”

Computer Herblags!


My Braidwood.net site is reported by Firefox and Google as having malware on it.

And yup, I did some scans and wouldn’t you know it, there was a script in the index.html that was doing who-knows-what. And actually, that might explain an attack I had on another one of my computers this week.
So I’ve updated a couple things on the server and I deleted that bit of script (we’ll see if it comes back). I’d like to say that going to the site is safe now. But who knows?
Not a good day for computers in the Pandora Machine…
*****
The Allen Encore and the Hot Fudge with Nuts are Tremolux – ish amps. The Hot Fudge with Nuts (a name I don’t find particularly appealing in a guitar amplifier) is available as a head kit for $849.

Invisible Emergency


There is an invisible “emergency” at Manhattan Theatre Source?

Yes.
How is it invisible?
It’s “invisible” because it’s the inverse of the kind of thing which periodically happens to Theatresource which looks like an emergency but isn’t.
OK. So what’s the deal?
Normally we have decent cash flow and not much cash in the bank. Lots of money comes in but it’s immediately spent on important things like rent. Right now we actually have some money in the bank, but our cash flow is lousy.
What’s all this I keep hearing about “cash flow”?
Right now the projectable cash flow for Theatresource is the lowest it has been in 10 years.
But somehow this isn’t an emergency?
Oh it is. But it’s being kept much quieter than all the other times the bell gets clanged and a call to arms is made.
So all those times were fake, but this one is real?
It could be. Or we could have bookings only a few weeks ahead and live a long time — as long as those bookings never actually dry up.
So why isn’t the typical Theatresource panic going on?
No — not like all the other times the theater was going to “close the doors!”
Why?
Because our new Executive Director discovered about $10,000 in tax overpayments. (This is a goode thinge, and much thanks to Jennifer Thatcher.)
And that’s a problem?
No, it means that the problem is hidden. We’re “cash rich” right now. The important words there are “right now”. Remember that our rent, utilities, and insurance cost more than $10,000 a month.
Cash rich is an unusual position for us to be in. And luckily we aren’t dramatically overspending.
Oh, I get it. So there’s “how much cash you have in the bank” versus “how much cash you expect to bring in”?
Exactly. The problem is that our cash flow projections are, right now, the absolute worst they’ve ever been in the entire 10-year history of Theatresource. That’s not hyperbole. That’s simply factual.*
Even 10 years ago, by this time (late February) we had bookings through the beginning of Summer. And we’ve never had less than that since then.
That is, until now.
I have a feeling you’re going to suggest there’s some kind of ideological imperative is going on.
Well, it’s not precisely a cover-up. But it’s a bit embarrassing to those who enacted the coup last year and got rid of the general manager and the artistic director.
So what is the new management doing now?
Theatresource is attempting to revitalize the Writers Forum but without installing an Artistic Director. Instead all the artistic decisions (which plays to produce, etc.) are being left to committee. It looks to me that the Writers Forum Production Committee is brought into existence primarily to “prove” we don’t need an AD. But that’s just a bit of Drew snarkiness and can be ignored.
I can ignore that bit of snarkiness?
To which I say “meh.”
You’ve been saying that a lot lately. So we get the Writer’s Forum back up and running, and we become a producing organization. Again. Uh. How long is that going to take though, if our wheels have been spinning for nigh on a year?
The real problem is that unless you have a muse locked up under the stairs, it’s going to be virtually impossible to produce 4 good plays by July.
Uh oh.
Now, you might be saying to yourself, as you puff on your big cigar, surrounded by 20-year-old Estonian underwear models, “Why do I care if da plays is any good? I just needs to sell me some tickets.”
Well, yeah. We just need to sell tickets. That’s how we make enough money to pay rent and insurance and stuff. So who cares how good the shows are? Excuse me, one of underwear models turns out to be Latvian and I must have her replaced…
And to you, my good man, I have this response:
What is The Secret to Our Success?
Theater, the way we make it, works like this:
  • The people who buy tickets for shows are the friends and family of the actors. Sometimes their friends and family of the director or the writer.
  • Sure, every once in a while you can get a review from the New York Times or from OffOffOnline and regular theater-going people will come see your show. But that doesn’t work for a week-long running show. Even if the reviewer comes on Wednesday, they ain’t getting the review out ’till Saturday. Maybe if you do two evening performances on Saturday you’ll see a bump for the second of those two shows. But let’s face it, the review will come out on the Tuesday after you’ve closed. I’m not kidding.
  • Handing out postcards does nothing as far as getting tickets sold and “butts in seats”. It makes you feel that you’re doing “press” for the play. The only reason for the postcard is so that actors can send them to friends with their own name underlined so that their friends who have always wanted to date them will think they have a better chance if they come to the show.
  • The way to sell lots of tickets is to have your cast excited about your show early in your rehearsal process so that they’ll get their friends and such to come see the show in its first week.
Are you saying this won’t work without an Artistic Director?
No. It’s going to be difficult to get enough plays produced no matter what. Yes, it’s possible to have a committee be the gatekeeper of what works Theatresource produces (and certainly that would be a better, and clearer, system than what we’ve had in the past or — dear Lord — the way the most recent InGenius was produced).
But there’s also merit in having one person whom a consensus or majority has agreed upon endowed with the power to add to the theater’s season: in other words a person who can say “We’re doing this play and this one and this one. The other play we’re doing needs this help before it’s ready.” But I see merit in hierarchical systems as well as consensus-based ones.
I think that de facto what’s going to happen is that whoever is in charge of that committee will dictate which plays are produced.
I’m sorry, I must have dozed off while you were reliving your radical youth. You want some Bakunin theory to go with that anarchism? What I mean is: what do you think will happen?
The short answer here is: boy, it’s going to be very difficult to get even one good full-length play developed in that amount of time (July). Unless you can find writers with great plays in their back pockets already, we’re going to have trouble no matter what. Artistic Director or no, the Board will end up deep-pockets-ing the theater for a while to keep it upright.
So you think they’re going to sink money into the Theatre to keep it alive.
They’ll try to sink as little as possible, but yeah, that’s my guess.
OK, so what should we do? Should we have a Benefit?
Whenever we have a “crisis” the first response is “we’ll hold a benefit!” I suspect you’ll find over the years we’ve just about broken even on our benefits. Benefits are primarily beneficial to the wineries involved. The person in charge of the benefit will play up how much money they made without admitting to the incredible expenses involved.
Thanks for telling me how you feel about that.
What do we make money with? Rentals and producing new works. Heck, even producing old works will cover us, provided we sell enough tickets (although for the love of all that’s holy let’s never do another Chekhov again.)
Then what should I be doing?
If you’ve been dying to produce a play, come on down and produce it at Theatresource. There’s plenty of dates open!
If you want to SEE a play, come SEE some theater. There’s plenty of tickets available!
Whatever the solution is, it doesn’t involve having a party.
So me just buying a ticket helps?
Yup. Same as uptown. You should produce though, too.
So I should write a play and then rent the theater?
Yes. Do it now.
OK, I’m working on a script. But, uh, why don’t we have any bookings at the theater? I mean, there’s a whole lot of producers in NYC and we’re certainly one of the least – expensive and well – equipped 50-seat houses in Manhattan.
Well, we’d have to look at what we do now that’s different from the way our last two general managers did to made sure the theater was booked.
So you’re not telling me.
That’s right.
But you know, right?
How would I know? It’s not like I sat next to the GM for the last 8 years.
But you did. I saw you. And you’re still there.
OK, I did. But I’m not telling. Or at least I’m not telling in this blog post.
There’s an elephant in the room, isn’t there? Oh crap. There’s an elephant. I can’t see it, but I can smell it. What is the deal?
The deal is — why am I the one telling you this? Shouldn’t the Board of Directors be sending out explanatory missives about our existence and future? Why is this job left to our last “Founding Member” who’s actually at the Source everyday?
That’s you, right?
I’m the last one. Technically I am, after all, just a tenant of Theatresource.
C’mon, why isn’t anyone communicating? Isn’t “Share Your Information” one of the core principles of the Source?
I suspect the real reason is because of an internecine low-intensity battle of wills that’s going on right now and won’t be resolved ’till the next changing of the guard in the Board of Directors. ‘Till then ain’t nobody saying nothing because there can’t be agreement on what to do. That is when they’re not ticked off at one another for misrepresenting things.
Would that explain why all the volunteers are gone?
Maybe.
So really? We’re just waiting for management to switch over?
Well, I don’t know any other reason nobody’s there. C’mon back. It’s lonely without you. I’d say maybe it’s me but I don’t have that much contact with volunteers.
Because there aren’t any?
Right. There’s that.
I think it’s because we’re not allowed to have liquor anymore.
Oh please. Nobody used to drink before 4pm anyway. I mean, not much at least. Besides, if you bring the whiskey, you can have a shot in our studio because that’s not a place of public accommodation.
Are your partners OK with that?
Maduka doesn’t drink, which means more for Blair and me.
You’re right!
Yes.
*****
*Actually, they were worse last week. We do have a booking of the theater throughout March now. So I guess it is hyperbole after all!

Send Lawyers, Guns, and Money

So far this week we’ve
  • worked out the last changes in our contracts with our lawyer,
  • dealt with insurance, permits, and TCD because we’re going to have non-firing replica (read: “toy”) guns on set, and
  • are now waiting for my bank to decide I’m worthy of them clearing a check. Harumph!
*****
“Make it Better” — I’m thinking that should be my new catchphrase. If you have an idea for a change in dialog, please see catchphrase.*
*****
If you can prove that insurance would cost more than 25% of your entire budget, the Mayor’s Office can waive your insurance requirements for permits.
*****
On that note, working with the Mayor’s Office of Film, Theatre, and Broadcasting was a veritably pleasant experience.
*****
*In an older version of the script I had a dumb joke about a bear. So far two members of the cast (who are also playwrights) have asked that it be reinstated. I can’t help but think that Nat and David are in cahoots but OK then; the Siberian bear is back in the picture.

New Ways to Exploit You!

The new and most awesome way to exploit actors? Make them write! Yes! The best dialog changes come from actors. Better than me having to do it, that’s for sure.
But we can go even further. We can make them fight directors, second unit directors, and even do fight casting for us. How do I know? I know because that’s what I’m doing with/to the raconteur and insoluble (I’ve dampened him, so I know) David Ian Lee. He’s doing all that hard work of fight directing and choreographing and he’s showing us his ass! Ooh, that gives me an idea — we should hold a lottery for who gets to sharpie the “crosses” tattoo on it.
Heck, now that I think of it, most of David’s work on the screenplay involved cutting his lines. For an actor that’s like he has Stockholm Syndrome.
Later, David’s going to have my baby. Again.
*****
Looks like the Tylenol PM has kicked in.
*****
The Clonehunter trailer is the subject of this post on This Quiet Earth. We love our B-sci-fi too. I, of course, had to leave a follow-up comment on the use of eye glasses in the 26th century.
*****
Dude, The Asylum is doing their version of Sinbad. That just makes me so… envious. “Sinbad faces bloodthirsty rocs, giant man-eating cyclops, clothing-challenged sirens…”
*****
* Pleasure Model: Netherworld Book 1, by Christopher Rowley (Tor): This collaboration between Tor Books andHeavy Metal Magazine seeks to revive the look and feel of pulp novels; at the very least they’ve got the artwork down. Story involves a cop and a genetically-designed sex slave, working a murder case. Yeah, it’s pretty much exactly as you’d expect something from Heavy Metal to be. Out now.
You know what’s the sexiest thing about that picture? I got two words for you. Robot. Eyes.
*****
Oh believe me, you don’t want to know about amplifier kits. Or, OK, if you do, keep reading.
GDS specializes in 18watt (as in Marshall 18 watt) kits. But they’ll make you a JTM45 if you want one.
Allen Amplification makes a variety of kits. Their pre-made amps seem to be along the lines of Fender-type amps.
Mojotone makes a variety of amp kits.
And of course Weber makes them some amp kits. Lots of ‘em.
Tube Depot makes kits.
Mission Amps makes the Aurora kit.
Marsh Amps makes a bunch of kits.
Torres makes kits.
Doberman makes kits in conjunction with the AX84 cooperative building project. They have some kits which are beginner-ish.
STF is a kit maker.
Ha! This is the closest to a Vibrolux kit I’ve found on the interwebs. The Torres Retrolux. Depending on the tubes, it can also be a Deluxe.
Metroamp is what I keep going back to. Maybe for clean tone I want a Deluxe?

Location Scout II

A roof in Bedford Stuyvesant, looking toward Manhattan.

I was there a bit after 6pm and we’d totally “lost light” by then. Even though I’ll be shooting at 1600 ISO and be able to open as wide as f1.4 on my Panasonic GH1, I think we’ll want that sky to be brighter for almost all the scenes we’re doing. Maybe not. I’ll figure that out tonight.

In exchange for this roof I’ll have to edit dialog on two short films.

Hey — do you ever find yourself having to find the closest hospital to a location so that you can put the hospital’s address on your call sheet? I do. And I just found US Hospital Finder. I presume it only works in the US. But it seems to work.

Today’s First Location Scout


If the weather is like today’s for the whole shoot, we’ll be in very good shape. Nicely overcast but about 40 degrees Fahrenheit. Not too bad for February in New York.

Here’s the exciting Van Dyke Street in Red Hook. For some reason nobody was around while I was scouting. A very large robot could just come walking down this street and there’d be nobody there to stop it.
The Valentino Pier. We’re a bit far from train transportation. Busses seem to run every so often. But I might just borrow my stepmom’s car for these days of the shoot.
Heck, we need to bring an A-frame ladder around with us. Hmm… I don’t know how we’re going to do that yet.
Around and about the Ikea and the Fairway Market in the ‘Hook.




Roofs in Brooklyn


Factory Brooklyn.

The issue is that of course most of them want about a thousand dollars a day. Sometimes more. That’s fine if you’re shooting a commercial, but for us that’s about 1/8th of the entire budget of the picture. That’s OK, by – and – large they can be talked down in price a little. The thing they’re always afraid of is a company coming in and being all like “OK, we need a makeup room, 200 thousand watts of power, this and this, and this. Oh, and we need to move this wall…” So they don’t think that $200 for the day will pay for all that.
***
Nobody seems to make a Fender Tremolux kit. That’s just… wrong… That’s the 5G9 circuit I believe.

What is this, 1953?

First of all, my cousin Jaime-Jin forwarded this video to me. It’s kind of brilliant. The audio is apparently a guy on acid, sitting in a closet. It’s kind of like Nick Park’s Creature Comforts that way.

OK, so there’s a blog dedicated to “Nudity Required, No Pay”. And they pull out our Actor’s Access post. Here’s their comment:

Thanks to Anonymous for tipping us off to this masterpiece where our heroine – poor, haunted, schitzo Laura – will probably be forced to make back-lit naked “love” to Neil the crazy drunk. It is very fortunate, however, that her psychiatrist is also one of the “very few survivors of the apocalypse”. I mean – what are the odds?
It’s kind of adorable how they assume that Neil is the love interest. Nope. Love interest is Sergeant Steady. And we’ll probably see more of him naked than her. Ha!
You’ll note that not a single European actor cares about nudity. Nope, that’s strictly a bit of arcane, American, prurience. To which I say (with hand over mouth) “Ooh! Titter titter!”
More from our biggest fan (you have to scroll to Jan 26, 2010 to see the post) on a post I made about nudity in our pictures:
I realize things have changed alot thanks to the Internet – but is it actually possible to get actors to do PORN for NO PAY now? If it wasn’t for the damn R restriction my guess is he’d have already investigated that potential avenue of exploitation, very thoroughly.

Heck, if we were doing porn we’d be able to pay our actors up-front. But I don’t really understand the market for porn, and furthermore that market is (apparently) falling just like all the other markets are.

Interestingly, nudity isn’t really a big selling point. One of our distributors was complaining to me the other day about how the “kiosks” like RedBox can have SAW IV or whatever but if there’s a single breast in a movie they get all apoplectic. Sort of like Janet Jackson at the Superbowl.
*****
Unfortunately, Nancy McClernan seems a bit obsessed with me now. Sheesh. Maybe she has been for a while. She seems to think that all my blog posts are about her now. Oh well. I’m certainly not the first one that’s happened to.
*****
We still haven’t locked our first location which is a tad frustrating as it’s annoying to not be able to get call sheets out. Nobody (meaning actors) wants to read a “day out of days” sheet and then interpolate which scenes they should be familiar with. Bleh. Maybe I’ll just start making up the sheets without the actual locations on them. Or maybe one of these locations will actually call me back. We. Shall. See.
How hard should it be to get a rooftop in Brooklyn anyway? (The trick is that we need to get the insurance and then permits and hope and pray we can get TCD — which is the New York police division which deals with film stuff — because we’re going to have guns.)

Dear Lord, he’s still talking about amplifiers


CeriaTone makes an interesting TrainWreck Expression kit. It seems pretty cool. Indeed, he’ll build the whole thing for you for $670. The problem is that at 13 kilograms, it will cost between $112 and $163 to ship it from Malaysia. Sure, 15 years ago I could have picked a real one up for a little over a thousand dollars by just driving to New Brunswick. But I didn’t.

And, as linked above, a detailed build guide from Amp Garage. You have to log in to see the files.
The TubeStore reviews, well, the tubes they sell. Actually, here’s a link to all their reviews. They like the TungSol 12AX7’s (which are only like $15 or $20 a piece) and they even have special packages for JTM 45’s (although those special packages seem to be for JTM100’s to me). The Mullard EL84’s are $35 for a matched pair but remember, you have to play around with a JTM to get 84’s in one because the standard power tubes are normally KT66’s. The Gold Lion KT66’s are $80 for a matched pair.
No, wait. It’s the 6L6GC which is frequently put in instead of KT66’s.
*****
I love the bottom of this bikini. I bet it’s a pain to get the material to sit right though. Either that or it only works on 6 women in the world. Still — buttons! ;-)
News you can use:
The Brooklyn Public Library has e-books and .mp3’s for download.